WTF?

I apologize in advance, but I'm speaking in generalities and stereotypes.

Why do men think women are the enigmas when clearly it is the adult male who is all screwed up? Why tell me you want to get together this weekend, then tell me the morning after we were going to get together that you're sorry and were feeling bad about the holidays? Do you want me to chase you? Mother you? Feel sorry for you? Feel bad that you didn't call? Yeah, see, I had forgotten that you were going to call me and already had plans.

I just don't get it. I feel like texting him back and saying "No, you thought and were hoping something 'better' would come along and were hoping I would stay in a holding pattern until you decided you wanted me. Sorry, but that's not how life works." But I try very hard to not be mean until and unless warranted. It doesn't do anyone any good although it may feel good in the moment. I suppose that's what being an adult feels like. Not snapping the neck of a poor defenseless idiot just because you can.

But now remains the question - How do I respond? Do I respond at all?

Questions for the ages, I suppose...

Wow

So, I'm sorry it's been so long I didn't even remember. Honestly, I only sign on from home, and I haven't used my own computer since August. Work seems to be where I spend most of my time.

Monday will be my 1 year anniversary of being on staff at my office. I love it, though I wish there was a staffing change. Wow, computer acting up. Have to shut down. Guess it was good I was only briefly on!

Grown Ups

I really do love my job. I love making a difference in the lives of people who have been wronged. It's a big deal. Now, there is a scheduling conflict with our office calendar. We have a deposition and a court appearance on the same day...both on the same day which I have been scheduled off for months so that I could go to Vegas. Not cool. I really need the day off, all my trip is already paid for and not refundable. I am sincerely praying I don't have to cancel my trip. Not only would it be expensive, but it would take its toll on me emotionally. I need to replenish my soul, sleep when I want, and not think about my cases at all. Fingers crossed that I won't have to make that decision.

11 Days and Still Counting...

So I really need a vacation. I'm stressed, I'm overwhelmed, I'm in dire need of some rest and relaxation. I've missed two days of work in the last two weeks, but it was because of a migraine and strep throat. Not exactly restful or relaxing. Will be done with my course of antibiotics before I take off on the 21st, so I couldn't be happier. It is going to go exactly as planned - fun, booze, Viva Elvis, naps, sunshine, more booze, more fun...it's going to be perfect! I miss you, Vegas. Don't worry doll. I'll be there soon.

36 Days and Counting

Yep, 36 days until Las Vegas. Think I'm already ready to go? You're 100% correct. I NEED a vacation. I'm swamped, overwhelmed, and freaking out a bit. Ready to be there already. Beyond ready.

Who Knew?

Who knew I was capable of sleeping 12 hours a day (no, not continuous but still totals 12)? I'm really not the kind who can sleep in. My body clock gets me sleepy around the same time every day and wakes me up around the same time. Turns out that I am capable of hitting my body's snooze button several times and sleeping a full 12 hours in a 24 hour period.

So I'm still on my (literal) ass-kicking journey to shed unnecessary pounds. It seems to be going well so far. It quite nicely coincides with my exercise classes (pole dancing!) wherein I focus on my breathing, my body's reaction to music, and my enjoying time off for 2 full hours every Sunday night. I deeply enjoy these classes. Men aren't allowed in the building and there are no mirrors in the room. I am able to escape to an entirely internal place for 2 hours. I force my cases out of my mind. For 2 hours, they aren't important. It's just me, dim red light, and no judgment. No judgment from myself or from others. I love it! Who knew all I needed was a bunch of women, sexy music, and my hair down while I writhe to sexy music to like exercising!

It's also kinda weird how my thoughts on sexy music have changed. The class forces me to slow down, forces me to love my curves, forces me to be selfish. My outlook on sexy is changing, and oddly enough, I'm still absolutely in love with the super high heels and feeling sexy in them.

Alright. I spent today sleeping in, lazing around, and did a TON of laundry. While doing laundry I read my new book. Now, I'm going to kick back, watch a movie, and have another indulgent evening with my fabulous self. I'm also making a mental shift of what constitutes "indulgence." It doesn't have to be decadent food - it can be a 2 hour pole dance class, a nice glass of wine, an hour with my book... It is what I want to define it to be. It's liberating and fabulous!

Lawyer Stats

Lawyers are allegedly more likely to be overweight, depressed, drug and alcohol abusers, and commit suicide than any other profession. That's right, folks. We've even surpassed the dreaded dentist.

I'm not depressed (I was during law school), don't abuse drugs or alcohol, am not contemplating suicide, but I am overweight. I was thinking about semantics and maybe why Americans are generally overweight. I think, at least for me, the words have gotten in the way in the past. I hate to "lose." Losing a motion, a trial, etc., are awful things. They stink. I've never been good at losing, be it cards, games, whatever. So it was hard to wrap my mind around losing being a good thing.

That's why I've decided to stop thinking about it and using the word "lose." I'm shedding, beating, winning, or something else. So, fingers crossed! It has started off on a positive note!