A Small Lifetime

I feel like it's been forever since I posted last.

All kinds of stuff to report. I am looking to buy a home (condo, but it would still be my home), I've now put depo #4 in the books, and my friend Sarah's birthday is tonight and we're going to a comedy club! Lots of good things.

The thing about the home is that I've been having sticker shock. I found one place that I could technically afford, but it would mean changing my lifestyle too much. So I've decided that it's not for me. I've shifted my thinking. I mean, I didn't start out in a Mercedes. I own a Pontiac. So why should I go for a Mercedes instead of a Pontiac when it comes to my first place. It's comfortably affordable. And I'm comfortable with that for the time being.

And I mean, it's still huge. I'm 30, a lawyer at a kick ass firm, and am buying my first home. And I'm even doing it on my own - no husband, not being handed the place by rich parents. It's going to be MINE. I'm excited about that.

Alright, back to work. :-)

Lap Dances and Life Advice

I am grateful each and every Sunday for my S Factor class. (sfactor.com) I get to see my sisters, my friends, women who are supportive of me, don't judge, and who encourage and uplift me. So I'm really looking forward to go to class tonight. My legs are sore from last night's lap dance class, but still really looking forward to it.

I'm likewise looking forward to a light lunch and fabulous conversation with my friend/mentor tonight. She's fun, spunky, and a little ball of fire. She's a wonderful example of what a human being should be. I can't wait to see her. She invited me to her home and I can't wait to enjoy her hospitality. She's also a lawyer but is winding down her practice. She's more of a life mentor to me than a legal one, and that's just fine with me. She is so giving and insightful. I can't wait!

Hope the rest of you are having as good a time as I will be!

Like a Divorce?

A dear, dear friend of mine (with whom I commiserated on many occasions about the stupid Bar exam) is gearing up to take it yet again this month. Bless his heart, I think this is attempt number 8. And it got me thinking about how he's essentially married to the Bar exam. Stuck in a loveless, unhealthy, passive-aggressive marriage. He needs to just make up his mind that the exam doesn't need him, that his blog followers don't need him, and that he's far better off without her ("her" being the Bar exam). Just be done with her, I say. You can then move on and be married to a job, one where you start out with rocky times but then develop into a loving and supportive relationship, one where you can flourish and grow. I just feel like he's being stifled by this damn exam, tethered to a sinking ship.

Just crush it this time and be done! Break a leg, friend.

2 Years And Counting

I guess it's time for a little reflection. Just over 2 years ago, I was sworn in as a lawyer. Some days it feels like an eternity ago, others it feels like only last week.

I suppose I should take stock of the things that have been part of my life for the last two years. A dear, dear friend and I had battles of atomic proportions, but now he and I are closer than we've ever been. My bff got engaged to a man I'm not convinced is good enough for her. (It's not necessarily any fault of his - I don't know if anyone would be good enough for her.) I have a case on appeal to the 9th Circuit. I joined a firm, lost a couple MSJ oppositions, won roughly 10. I've worked with clients who are truly grateful and deserving and others who are self-centered ingrates. For those who are selfish and ungrateful, I try to focus on the fact that I'm still doing justice. Those who are humble and grateful remind me that the job is still worth doing.

A friend has a daughter who is growing by the minute, and another was married and is now pregnant with her first. Alas, I am still unmarried and without a family.

I've had unusual and scary health issues.

I admit that I've neglected myself and have killed myself trying to get more work done. I also admit that I'm pretty much done doing that. My health and my body are more important than that. I need to listen to her more often and we'll both be better off.

I suppose that's all I've got for now. All in all, I am a very proud and lucky lawyer. That's what I've learned in the last two years.

WTF?

I apologize in advance, but I'm speaking in generalities and stereotypes.

Why do men think women are the enigmas when clearly it is the adult male who is all screwed up? Why tell me you want to get together this weekend, then tell me the morning after we were going to get together that you're sorry and were feeling bad about the holidays? Do you want me to chase you? Mother you? Feel sorry for you? Feel bad that you didn't call? Yeah, see, I had forgotten that you were going to call me and already had plans.

I just don't get it. I feel like texting him back and saying "No, you thought and were hoping something 'better' would come along and were hoping I would stay in a holding pattern until you decided you wanted me. Sorry, but that's not how life works." But I try very hard to not be mean until and unless warranted. It doesn't do anyone any good although it may feel good in the moment. I suppose that's what being an adult feels like. Not snapping the neck of a poor defenseless idiot just because you can.

But now remains the question - How do I respond? Do I respond at all?

Questions for the ages, I suppose...

Wow

So, I'm sorry it's been so long I didn't even remember. Honestly, I only sign on from home, and I haven't used my own computer since August. Work seems to be where I spend most of my time.

Monday will be my 1 year anniversary of being on staff at my office. I love it, though I wish there was a staffing change. Wow, computer acting up. Have to shut down. Guess it was good I was only briefly on!

Grown Ups

I really do love my job. I love making a difference in the lives of people who have been wronged. It's a big deal. Now, there is a scheduling conflict with our office calendar. We have a deposition and a court appearance on the same day...both on the same day which I have been scheduled off for months so that I could go to Vegas. Not cool. I really need the day off, all my trip is already paid for and not refundable. I am sincerely praying I don't have to cancel my trip. Not only would it be expensive, but it would take its toll on me emotionally. I need to replenish my soul, sleep when I want, and not think about my cases at all. Fingers crossed that I won't have to make that decision.