This past weekend I went to Arizona to visit family. Grandparents and Aunt and Uncle. It's so great to spend time with family, even if I am the ever-weak link in the pinochle games. Ah well.
So I guess my grandfather is having some issues with his brain. Sometimes I wish I went into medicine instead of law because I HATE it when I don't understand things that are happening. But then again, there is a lot in medicine that is uncertain (including my Schamberg's disease), so knowing that no one knows might likewise be pertwerbing. But I love them and I'm sure I'll be doing my fair share of internet searching.
I also watched Hillary's speech tonight. I cried. It's as if she read my mind. "Did you vote for me or what I stand for?" She's right. As pissed as I am at Obama, and as much as I doubt his abilities to lead this country, I have to admit that I believe in the Democratic ideals. I hate to admit I'd rather have him than McCain. I'm far from a McCain supporter and I'd never vote for him. That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying that I dislike Obama so much that I considered voting for Nader. Yikes. I know, it's really unlike me. But that's life. At least it's my life right now. And I do like Biden, especially since he's such an ardent supporter of workers' rights and labor.
I'm exhausted right now and my other strange, indecipherable condition (chostocondritis) (sp?) is really acting up tonight. And I might have to stay up late to have a chat with my favorite man, so I should get going.
I'm sorry I don't blog much. It's just difficult to find the time now that I'm working more than I ever anticipated, our new paralegal is making my (and our legal assistant's) job harder. I mean, someone who calls themself a paralegal should be able to use Westlaw, right? The thing is, I don't work for her. In the food chain, she's below me. And I don't get paid (since I'm an hourly contractor) to help her do her work. I can't bill for it. Whatever. I just need to lay down.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Friday, August 15, 2008
Weird World
So the guardians of a kid out here in Sunny SoCal are suing the school this 8th grader went to because he got shot. Now, I believe that schools ought to be held accountable if they fail to provide a safe environment in which children can learn. And this kid got shot. But the grounds for the lawsuit seem insane to me.
The kid is gay, and chose to wear makeup and feminine clothing to school. The school has a dress code which apparently requires boys to not wear feminine clothing and/or makeup. The article was quite vague.
So the basis of the suit is that, since the school failed to enforce the dress code and allowed this kid to wear makeup and wear feminine clothes, and that was the reason for the other kid's hate crime and shooting, the school should be responsible. Huh?
I think that students have it hard enough, and if this kid was brave enough to wear makeup, feminine clothes, and express who he believes he is, he ought to be allowed to. But what about the guardians? Who let him break the dress code when he walked out the door? It's convoluted, since the kid was apparently living in a home for neglected and abused kids. So is it the school's fault when girls get pregnant? Oh wait. That principal just resigned over the "pregnancy pact" drama.
What the hell ever happened to personal accountability and responsibility? When a kid brings a gun to school and shoots another kid because he's gay, all of the fault cannot rest with the school. Where are the parents? Who let the shooter have the gun? Why aren't gay children free to express themselves equally with straight kids? And why the hell aren't they suing the shooter and/or his parents? Oh wait. They probably don't have deep pockets.
It's a weird, messed up world recently. And, TCBY and Mrs. Fields are in bankruptcy! And Jamba Juice looks like it's headed down that road. What the hell is going on?
The kid is gay, and chose to wear makeup and feminine clothing to school. The school has a dress code which apparently requires boys to not wear feminine clothing and/or makeup. The article was quite vague.
So the basis of the suit is that, since the school failed to enforce the dress code and allowed this kid to wear makeup and wear feminine clothes, and that was the reason for the other kid's hate crime and shooting, the school should be responsible. Huh?
I think that students have it hard enough, and if this kid was brave enough to wear makeup, feminine clothes, and express who he believes he is, he ought to be allowed to. But what about the guardians? Who let him break the dress code when he walked out the door? It's convoluted, since the kid was apparently living in a home for neglected and abused kids. So is it the school's fault when girls get pregnant? Oh wait. That principal just resigned over the "pregnancy pact" drama.
What the hell ever happened to personal accountability and responsibility? When a kid brings a gun to school and shoots another kid because he's gay, all of the fault cannot rest with the school. Where are the parents? Who let the shooter have the gun? Why aren't gay children free to express themselves equally with straight kids? And why the hell aren't they suing the shooter and/or his parents? Oh wait. They probably don't have deep pockets.
It's a weird, messed up world recently. And, TCBY and Mrs. Fields are in bankruptcy! And Jamba Juice looks like it's headed down that road. What the hell is going on?
When I Was One
One year after I was born, the number one song was "Physical" by Olivia Newton John. I remember thinking how unbelievably cheesy that music video was when I first saw it. And it got me flashing back to the days of youth. I specifically remember braided sweat/headbands, leg warmers, wearing several pairs of socks, Guess jeans, Mili Vanili, "Ice Ice Baby," and thinking that Bush the First wasn't doing such a bad job.
Then I grew up, well, at least as much as I wanted to grow up, and now am wearing Baby Phat jeans, not wearing headbands, sweatbands, legwarmers, and don't usually wear socks (mostly flip flops). My music choices are quite eclectic, even if it's not nearly as...uh..."unique" as my female friend C's taste in music.
How different would my life have been had just a couple things been different in my life? If my parents had stayed married, I'm sure one or both of them would have poisoned the other. What if I went into biology instead of law? What if I had never been attacked by a dog when I was little? What if...? Ah well.
Anyway, I'm looking forward to tomorrow. My male friend C and I are having dinner and seeing Mama Mia. We were supposed to do it last weekend with N, but plans fell through. Now N can't join us, but that's okay. We'll meet up with her again another time.
And today is my ex's birthday. He's 32. It made me think: I've known him for nearly half my life. How different would my life be if I hadn't given guys like him a chance? He knows he's not George Clooney, but he has a good heart. On the other hand, he does do a lot of karaoke. But that's E, and I hope he has a fabulous birthday.
Then I grew up, well, at least as much as I wanted to grow up, and now am wearing Baby Phat jeans, not wearing headbands, sweatbands, legwarmers, and don't usually wear socks (mostly flip flops). My music choices are quite eclectic, even if it's not nearly as...uh..."unique" as my female friend C's taste in music.
How different would my life have been had just a couple things been different in my life? If my parents had stayed married, I'm sure one or both of them would have poisoned the other. What if I went into biology instead of law? What if I had never been attacked by a dog when I was little? What if...? Ah well.
Anyway, I'm looking forward to tomorrow. My male friend C and I are having dinner and seeing Mama Mia. We were supposed to do it last weekend with N, but plans fell through. Now N can't join us, but that's okay. We'll meet up with her again another time.
And today is my ex's birthday. He's 32. It made me think: I've known him for nearly half my life. How different would my life be if I hadn't given guys like him a chance? He knows he's not George Clooney, but he has a good heart. On the other hand, he does do a lot of karaoke. But that's E, and I hope he has a fabulous birthday.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Fall on your Butt and Still be Nationally Revered?
So I woke up around 2:30 this morning and couldn't get back to sleep. What's a girl to do? Watch the Olympics, of course! So, until 5 or 5:30, I watched and actually felt my eyes getting redder and redder. I caught some swimming but mostly women's gymnastics.
One of the women, you know who she is, fell off the beam, fell on her butt on the floor, and then stepped out of bounds on the floor. They won the silver medal for teams. She quite literally fell on her butt twice, is the reason that the team didn't win gold, but is still so accomplished! How many people have worked so hard and never gotten it? Who has been too afraid to even try?
The men won bronze a couple days ago. I was really pulling for Raj, on the men's team. He's my age, and he came SO CLOSE to making the team last Olympic cycle but fell short. I was really pulling for him. His Olympic team was my bar exam.
So, I'm trying to focus on the fact that I was so brave to move 2400 miles from home into a crappy neighborhood (emphasis on "hood"), to incur some $160,000 in debt, and to be brave enough to face the bar not once, not twice, but three times. I'm still praying I passed this time. But maybe I should try to be my own hero for a while. I've fallen on my butt a couple times, but I still pulled myself back up, did my best on that stupid executive powers essay question and the overly and unnecessarily hard MBE, faced my fears and hopefully fought them back for good this time. I want to be someone else's hero, so maybe I should start by being my own hero. If that makes any sense.
One of the women, you know who she is, fell off the beam, fell on her butt on the floor, and then stepped out of bounds on the floor. They won the silver medal for teams. She quite literally fell on her butt twice, is the reason that the team didn't win gold, but is still so accomplished! How many people have worked so hard and never gotten it? Who has been too afraid to even try?
The men won bronze a couple days ago. I was really pulling for Raj, on the men's team. He's my age, and he came SO CLOSE to making the team last Olympic cycle but fell short. I was really pulling for him. His Olympic team was my bar exam.
So, I'm trying to focus on the fact that I was so brave to move 2400 miles from home into a crappy neighborhood (emphasis on "hood"), to incur some $160,000 in debt, and to be brave enough to face the bar not once, not twice, but three times. I'm still praying I passed this time. But maybe I should try to be my own hero for a while. I've fallen on my butt a couple times, but I still pulled myself back up, did my best on that stupid executive powers essay question and the overly and unnecessarily hard MBE, faced my fears and hopefully fought them back for good this time. I want to be someone else's hero, so maybe I should start by being my own hero. If that makes any sense.
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Frustrations
I have a lot of frustrations lately. I'm frustrated that the price for my airline tickets went up by like 50 bucks in 2 days (and I'm additionally frustrated that it's not my fault that it took my dad 2 days to get back to me). I'm frustrated that people are buggin' my friend N. She's a good person and people should not take advantage of her. I'm frustrated that C and I can't go get notsos and chili. I'm frustrated that I can't afford to go see my friends in Michigan, Utah, Seattle, etc. I'm frustrated that I had to change offices (and now I have no window). I'm frustrated that I want to lose weight but have no will power.
I'm mostly frustrated with the entire bar process. After telling my mother that the MBE seemed really hard and I don't know/am not confident that I passed, instead of reassuring me or telling me to have faith, she instead asked when I could register to take it in February. Thanks, mom. And I'm frustrated that it takes freaking 4 months to get results. And I'm frustrated at that stupid executive powers essay question.
And I don't want to do laundry, but I have to.
I guess I need to take stock, get a little perspective. I just got a really awesome raise at work (though my hours got cut), I may have an interview at an employment law firm (which is what I want, but would be less money), I have awesome friends who are so supportive throughout all my messes, and so many people have it so much worse than I do. I should shut up and feel grateful. I'm working on it, and I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm mostly frustrated with the entire bar process. After telling my mother that the MBE seemed really hard and I don't know/am not confident that I passed, instead of reassuring me or telling me to have faith, she instead asked when I could register to take it in February. Thanks, mom. And I'm frustrated that it takes freaking 4 months to get results. And I'm frustrated at that stupid executive powers essay question.
And I don't want to do laundry, but I have to.
I guess I need to take stock, get a little perspective. I just got a really awesome raise at work (though my hours got cut), I may have an interview at an employment law firm (which is what I want, but would be less money), I have awesome friends who are so supportive throughout all my messes, and so many people have it so much worse than I do. I should shut up and feel grateful. I'm working on it, and I'll let you know how it goes.
Friday, August 8, 2008
Cheese, anyone?
So my friend N send me a link to a cheesy, feel good website. http://www.simpletruths.com/a.aspx?mo=fjoy&t=2&af=132
I think it's cheesy, but sweet. I particularly like the quote about courage not always being a roar, but is sometimes a quiet "I'll try again tomorrow." It reminded me of a book that we got my niece when she was little called "Try Again, Sally Jane!" It was about a little girl who thought she'd never learn how to play piano, garden, etc. Low and behold, she does, of course. And when I was little (if I was ever "little"), I apparently told my grandfather that "I'll never learn to read!" As someone who wanted to always be one of the smartest people around, I imagine this was probably quite a devastating revelation to me.
But I did learn to read, so well I went to law school. And then I sat for the bar a few times. Hopefully, this last, earth shaking, terrifying time was the last time because I will have passed. I just need to have faith that everything will be fine. God didn't bring me here to leave me now. And I've been through worse. I mean, who else can say they were the FIRST person on the "failed" list? That's gotta count for something, right?
Ah well. I'm tired. It's been a crazy week. More to come. Stay tuned.
I think it's cheesy, but sweet. I particularly like the quote about courage not always being a roar, but is sometimes a quiet "I'll try again tomorrow." It reminded me of a book that we got my niece when she was little called "Try Again, Sally Jane!" It was about a little girl who thought she'd never learn how to play piano, garden, etc. Low and behold, she does, of course. And when I was little (if I was ever "little"), I apparently told my grandfather that "I'll never learn to read!" As someone who wanted to always be one of the smartest people around, I imagine this was probably quite a devastating revelation to me.
But I did learn to read, so well I went to law school. And then I sat for the bar a few times. Hopefully, this last, earth shaking, terrifying time was the last time because I will have passed. I just need to have faith that everything will be fine. God didn't bring me here to leave me now. And I've been through worse. I mean, who else can say they were the FIRST person on the "failed" list? That's gotta count for something, right?
Ah well. I'm tired. It's been a crazy week. More to come. Stay tuned.
Monday, August 4, 2008
Here's To Beginnings
Beginnings are scary. Do you remember ever starting a new school? Going to a class where no one knows you?
Here's the beginning of a new blog for me. I think the title is particularly appropriate, if you're familiar with how this site came about.
Anyway, it's been a REALLY long and difficult day, so I'm going to eat the rest of my frozen dinner, call my ex to see if he has any sympathy for me, start looking for a job again (long story), and finally pass out and pray today was just a long nightmare.
Here's hoping...
Here's the beginning of a new blog for me. I think the title is particularly appropriate, if you're familiar with how this site came about.
Anyway, it's been a REALLY long and difficult day, so I'm going to eat the rest of my frozen dinner, call my ex to see if he has any sympathy for me, start looking for a job again (long story), and finally pass out and pray today was just a long nightmare.
Here's hoping...
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