Something Like Life?

I was at work today. I billed about 6 hours, but was painfully bored to tears the entire 8. I spent more time than I probably should have spent looking online for Vegas deals. I finally decided enough was enough, and that the deal I have is good enough. Since the female friend I'm going with is very cash conscious, we're staying at a moderate hotel. I refuse to stay somewhere like Sahara or Stratosphere, so we're staying somewhere above those and below like a NYNY or MGM. It's clean, safe, and not a bad location. So what more do you really need?

Even though I'm relatively low on funds right now, I had to book a spa appointment. I NEED one. So I booked it. I am really looking forward to the whole trip, from the drive there to the drive back, but I'm really looking forward to the massage. Mmm...the thought of it is really sexy.

So work is tedious and mundane. And it's not usually this bad, but all of the things I have to do are boring. It's not so bad when I've got a bunch of mundane stuff and a couple exciting things. But everything right now is mundane. And I have a federal court thing due Friday, but it's mostly done. I'm looking forward to finishing it because it's my first federal e-filed document. But it's still kind of blah.

Is this my life? Is this what I thought it was going to be like being a lawyer? Is this the hard part? The easy part? Am I supposed to be bored? I've been reflecting on my life more lately, probably because a friend from high school was recently murdered. What if I died tomorrow? Would I be satisfied? Would I be left with a bunch of "I wish I had" or "Why didn't I"? Maybe I'm just really tired of dealing with a bunch of every day crap and not taking enough time to enjoy the things I like. Maybe I should go buy those D&G shoes I was so in love with. Maybe I just need to take it one step at a time and try not to get too stir crazy about Vegas.

But it's hard to focus on anything else when the mother ship is calling me home...

Maybe I'm channeling my friends who are sitting for the bar right now. If you take a minute to read this, I want you to know that I'm praying for you and sending you positive thoughts. I am pulling for you! Go get 'em!

Cash Poor

This is a bad time for me to be short on funds. I'm going to Vegas next weekend. A week from today, I will be there and hopefully will have already consumed about 4 cocktails. I need a vacation from reality. I know, I know - the bar is next week, and I know (all too well) how the people sitting for it could use a vacay more than me. But I still need one.

There is something wrong with my car. I have to take it in tomorrow. Crap. But I guess this is just one more thing from which I need a vacation.

I got new glasses today. I lost my glasses, which I've had for about 7 years. I suppose it was time for a new pair anyway. Turns out my prescription is stronger now, so it's good I went in. But that was expensive. And since it was only like $70 bucks more for the Versace frames which I liked better and fit me better, I went ahead and upgraded.

It just feels like I'm hemorrhaging cash.

Costly Day

I need new tires. I think they'll have to wait until my next paycheck. I also had a SHOCK today when I discovered that I wasn't licensed in the federal bar. "Um, what?" Apparently, they lost and/or never processed my paperwork. So I had to fill out the application (only 2 pages) and pay the $185 before I could file my documents. So I technically was licensed for about 20 minutes when I filed my first federal documents. Crazy, I know. So it was expensive but worthwhile. Now I just really want to work hard this week so I can go nutty at the shoe sale at Nordstrom Rack on Saturday! G'night!

Honesty is a Billy Joel Song

How honest can you or should you be when you think a friend is doing something wrong? I'm not referring to wearing orange and purple clothes, not talking about personal decisions that only affect their superficial choices. I'm talking about when you think they're hurting themselves or someone they love. Some of my friends have changed, and not necessarily for the better. And I have to wonder if I should say something, and if I do, what should I say? Or should I wait and see if something changes?

Off to go ponder. And also file my first federal document! Yay!

WTF?

I just don't understand why it's so hard to find a nice, decent, hard-working, financially stable guy whose emotional age matches his biological age! Sure, I know a lot of gay guys who fit the bill, but I need a straight man. No disrespect to my gay friends ("Where my gays at?!?! a la Kathy Griffin), but I need a straight man with the above attributes. Why is that so freaking hard?!?!

Oh yeah, I'm boycotting Valentine's day. I will be donating blood tomorrow morning, but that is the only giving and/or caring thing I'll be doing. I will otherwise be selfishly lying about, napping, reading my books, and/or otherwise being glad that I dodged a bullet by finding out that the guy I was hopeful about is a damn mess.

Cheating

So I had every intention of going to the gym tonight. We all know I was on the road to hell, right? Paved with good intentions? Yep. Guess who didn't go to the gym? But, count yourself blessed because you get to read this post instead! Um, I know you're thinking I should have gone to the gym. Whatever.

I picked up this month's copy of Glamour magazine, and on the cover was how you can lose weight just by sleeping more! So I'm not really cheating on my going to the gym since I plan on hitting the sheets early tonight. I'm really giving my body a benefit, right? Sure. If you believe that, I've got a bridge to sell you.

So in this month's Glamour there's a mini-story entitled "Is He Wired to Cheat? Are You?" In it, some researchers are saying that it may be a combination of nurture and/or nature that makes someone cheat. The nurture part is for people who didn't grow up having nurturing relationships with their parents. The nature part is that some men with a specific gene variant were twice as likely to stray.

Whilst I firmly believe there is a fat gene (not to be confused with "fat jeans), I sincerely doubt there is a gene that makes men put their...uh..."thing" in another person. Really? There is a biological component to being cruel to a significant other by having sex with another person? No. I may buy into the idea that a certain gene may make a person less inhibited or affect their brain function controlling self-control. But make them cheat? No. I believe my genes make me biologically prone to retaining fat, and maybe it influences my craving for exceptionally tasty goodies. But my genes sure as hell don't make me put the cheeseburger in my mouth! And it's irresponsible for someone to claim that "science made him do it." What a joke.

So I got to thinking about a friend of mine who doesn't believe in monogamy. I believe firmly in the right of two (or more) consenting adults to do what they want in the privacy of their own space. Maybe it's my genes that make me far less inclined to stray in a relationship. Who knows?

Day Off?

I awoke this morning not feeling well at all. My stomach was very upset. So I called out. Since then, I've been called and have billed time. I'm working on a set of interrogatories right now that is very long and repetitive. But my stomach is still upset, and I'm not looking forward to still doing work.

After taking a couple tummy-settling pills, I went to look at an office space. Wow, it's so pretty. It's got blond wood furniture, clean work areas, privacy, and all the bells and whistles I need (in addition to a lot that are superfluous but still cool). It has a large window, and even though it's overlooking the top of the parking structure, the mountains are in the distance and are really beautiful. There has to be a story in there somewhere, you know? Look past the shortcomings and look at the beauty. The snow on the mountains is beautiful. I love it, and while it's a bit more than I wanted to spend, it's still within where I need to spend. Especially since it's furnished, it works out to be where my budget is.

I'm just nervous since it's a big step, especially since I've only been a lawyer for 2 months and 8 days. But I absolutely have to try something. I have to. This is the brass ring and I'm not about to let it pass me by.

So I'm going to get back to billing time so that I can afford the pretty pretty office! It's time to trust my instincts, close my eyes, and leap.