So my mind was wandering and I was thinking about sex. (Yes, I think I was a man in a former life...or I have a very male essence...or maybe it's just been too long.) And my mind got to the scary part of sex, at least for women, which is being seen naked. It's compromising. And any women at one point or another has looked at her naked body and scrutinized every inch, or at least the ones she can see without a three-way mirror. And I've never been naked in front of a man when I'm this weight. And it doesn't help that C has been losing weight like it's butter melting off of her. I hate her just a little bit right now, but then again, she will likely be in the same boat relatively soon.
So I was looking at lingerie online. It's either super skanky, white-trash, bleach blond with black roots models showing disgusting lacy rags, or it's 400 pound girls and you can't get past the buckets and buckets of boobs. I'm fat, but I ain't THAT fat, not even close. Even Frederick's of Hollywood has cut way back on their plus-sized line. What's the deal? Did all the fat girls just stop having sex in lingerie? Stop having sex at all? What the hell happened? Or did the fat girls just stop trying to dress up what they have in exchange for self-consciousness? Not likely.
I don't know what the deal is, but I'm getting more and more nervous about "him" seeing me in a state of undress.
Sorry to those of you (especially CP) who surely did not want to read this entry. But it's a diary, it's online, and it's what is slithering out of my head right now. Give the fat girl a break, alright?!?!
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