The Winner Takes it All

I knew I was an Abba fan, and such knowledge was recently cemented when I went to see Mama Mia. Well, the other night in my downloading frenzy (yes, again, it was all LEGAL downloading which I paid licensing fees for), I downloaded some Abba.

Today was a rough day already, and it's only 2o til 2. One of my kitties is sick, and I thought she had died under a bathroom cabinet. Happily, thankfully, she's fine. But it still freaked me out.

I also tried calling my favorite guy to sweetly wake him up this morning but he neglected to answer the phone. I wanted to tell him that I do love him, but when he called me around noon from the grocery store, it just wasn't the right time.

I'm just in a funk, probably induced by a combination of forgetting my pills yesterday, him not answering my call, the weather still being gray since yesterday, my sick kitty, etc. So I started listening to The Winner Takes it All, and welled up. It isn't easy to await bar results no matter where you are. Sometimes you don't even realize that your stress is bar-related until you realize that it's a bit irrational. Kind of similar to PMS predicting your period through irrational crying spells and chocolate binges.

Anyway, my favorite guy said to me on the phone last night that he wished so badly that he could help me or do something to help me have passed this time. It was admittedly sweet sentiment, but the problem is that I don't want it to be from anyone's help. I've worked for my entire life for this goal. I was born to be a lawyer. And at this final moment, I want the combination of my blood, sweat, and tears, along with the guidance and teaching I've received along the way to result in ME being the winner. Isn't it my time? When do I get to be THAT girl?