Swirly-Headed

I have a million things going on in my head right now. I'm swirly-headed. I've got a ton of stuff going on at work and it's all going to hit the fan tomorrow when my boss comes back from a mini-vacation. I've got discovery that needs to go out tomorrow, we have an ex parte coming up on Wednesday, I've got an arbitration petition that needs to go out but might very well be unnecessary, letters going out, stipulations...oh, and the paralegal put in her 2 weeks notice.

And I obviously said some things I should have said on the phone with "him." Some things I said weren't fair. So today I apologized, which was not easy to do. And I had to tell him something else, which was WAY harder than apologizing. But I had to tell him. And he told me that he understood and forgave me and thanked me for apologizing. Then I started telling him about all my stress and things going on...then I started crying. But, I've decided to go for a face-to-face visit, which I will likely be doing in early October. Now that all my cards are on the table, I feel a bit vulnerable, but isn't that what friendships and relationships are about? Being vulnerable with each other? And by the way, thank you to my two girlfriends who listened through both ends of it.

And I think I want Botox in my jaw to help with my TMJ/teeth grinding. On a particularly stressful day, I'll find that my jaw is aching and I didn't even realize I was clenching. Or on a stressful night, I'll awake almost unable to fully open my mouth from a nighttime of clenching my jaw. Ouch. The upside is that if I can get a Kaiser doctor to diagnose it, the Botox is covered (except, of course, the co-pay) since it's a medical treatment as opposed to cosmetic.

I'm just swirly-headed right now.