Sunday, October 19, 2008

Why?

Why is it that women always seem to want what they can't have? Can't have chocolate cake because it's too many calories. Can't have the perfect man because he's married, gay, geographically undesirable, etc. Can't have a job and a career and a family life because someone will either call you a bitch (for having too much career ambition), a bad mother for not staying home, or a bad wife for not focusing all your attention on your husband.

Yes, maybe I'm exaggerating a bit. But I have to evaluate why it is that I seem to fall for the wrong guy, especially when I already know he's the wrong guy. Maybe I know that since it's probably doomed, I can't really get hurt when it inevitably doesn't work out? Maybe I'm just covering a lot of fears? Am I afraid to be with a good man, one who loves me and will love me for being me? And if so, why? And trust is really difficult for me. I know why, but it's still tough to get over sometimes.

But why do I always want the guy who is unavailable? C's theory is that I just want to be wanted, something that every woman wants. Is that it? Probably. I clearly want him to think of me as sexy, smart, capable, etc. Is that why it's making me nutty that he won't call me back?

1 comment:

Christine said...

I'm amazed I made any sense at all last night. Yes, all women want to be wanted. Actually, I think everyone feels that way.

Wade's theory is that I want someone who wants me more than I want him. Let's hope you're not the same way.

And we are getting close to your results, right? I can tell by the rabid blogging. :)

Seattle being Seattle (reference to the person, not the place), all I know is that we can't MAKE someone wants us. And that drives us crazier than just about anything else.