Sound Sleep

As you can imagine, I didn't sleep well over the last week. Constantly on the verge of tears, I was terrified. My nerves were on the sharp edge. I jumped at everything.

Last night, I celebrated with my family at a local restaurant that has special meaning to me. It is where we celebrated my college graduation. It is where my father took me for dinner after the first time I sat for the bar (a year ago now). And the owner is an upbeat (but not annoyingly so), encouraging guy. Since we've been going there since I was young, he knew what was going on with me. So it kind of brought things full circle when I went there to celebrate last night.

And I had a LOT of champagne. I earned it!

I got home, brushed my teeth, and climbed into bed. I finally slept, REALLY slept. I awoke around 6:30ish this morning (yes, it's really early), but I immediately felt better. I was refreshed, replenished. More than that, I was VINDICATED. I finally have been welcomed into the fellowship that I've been desperately trying to become a part of for years. I finally slept well, deep sleep, dream sleep.

The feeling of passing was overwhelming and intense. My niece (who is 12) was with me last night. I entered my applicant and file number and let her click to check the results. It looked different than last time. We screamed and hugged each other. I hugged her so hard she could barely breathe. I immediately wept. I re-read it. I made her re-read it to make sure I wasn't hallucinating. My name is on the pass list.

I am still a bit in shock, but it's a pleasant feeling. Vastly different than the overwhelming fear and doubt I felt for the past year.

And it's awesome to know that I have an associate justice of the court of appeal who is willing to swear me in. I am absolutely going to take him up on it. It's special, and this is the most special thing that has ever happened to me.

It felt good to not cry myself to sleep. I finally won.